Well i have to come here, dearest me, how bad am I. Having a relationship with a Seventeen Years Old. Anyway, may be it is just the teens, or i am just losing it. Rose, well she has been uncertain. I do feel that she have another, i dont mind realy, it is just that she do not want to share her problem with me. I dont mind if she has another, hurt may be, but glad. At least she is looking for someone besides me, so it is only a crush....a bad crush.. a very naughty crush...He He he... I had good time with her though
well good times a not meant to stay, as i had with yanie..That name.. Sunday, i watched her for a few seconds, trying to find out why am i obsessed with her, is it because..yes it is because i have a strong feeling for her. I still dreamt her..but not my wife. Saturday or friday i dreamnt that she came to me asking for help. I said, i will help her, but strangely, my family was against that. I just told them off... saying that this is a profesional assistant nothing special..etc. They back off.. but then i woke up.
As for Rose.. deep inside my heart i know that she is seeing someone. Well one day..I will know, just have to wait patiently. I love her.. i will always love her.
Uncle cheah came in today after a long while, and he asked why my wife is still not pregnant, do i have problem with her... relationship etc, well i told him... we are using OCP and going to plan the pregnancy. I do not wish for my wife to be on her own when she conceive her first child. I will never forgive my self if anything happen and i am not around to attend to it.
My feeling for her is growing strong as time goes by.
There are a lot of things that is on my mind. I have list them an put an action plan to over come the situation.
1. Shop debt.. because of bad checks my account cannot be opened till december this year and my wife have to close hers because of the same thing. Well we are just living the business, and not having enough money to keep the business afloat.
2. Shop Rental..the shop rental is too high and filling or creating income from the rooms, well i dont have the hang of it yet. I still need to furnish the room..as practical as possible. Install water heater, remove the illegal pantry. And create a more liveable enviroment.
3. Empty rooms..well all of them are filled up.
4. Personal debt..i have a schedule to keep in order for me to pay all the debt. If everything goes well, all debt, mine, will be settle by the end of 2007
5. In ablity to borrow or open current account... well this is time bound. So during the mean time, i will create my business plan and marketing plan, and execute them. I will survive, i will be like the phoenix, that flies from the ashes that it came from.
6. My company account is not yet updated.. it will cost me nearly RM 10k to update this company and i cannot depend on my cousin much for the accounts.
7. Debt to mother... well in order for me to get this shop, my mother have forked out RM 36k from her account, i have to repay that, i hope with something extra.
8. Not enough money to float..well i have to be more prudent with my spending and my control over the cash.
All in all, i believe in my self and i will succeed, if Allah permit. I just wish i have the ability to help my friends and family. They have help me, to be whom i am now.
