Yanie called my shop this evening.. i was praying.. i called her back... she just want to make sure sheila is in this weekend 20-22/feb. she asked me wether she can borrow my tape recorder..Lady you can have my life if you want it. but then i have to make sure you appreciate it not wasting it. Life is hard when missing someone is part of it. I also promised yanie to pay for her bus fare if she came to see me on the 28-29/feb she is taking up that offer. Before this she plan to meet on the 23 in KL. But a lot of things has happen and on that date i will be in kl with my wife and ... metting her will be a bit tricky.

The interview, i hope will be just another interview..i hope i will not crumble to her feet like last time when she drop by. And this incident have to be kept a secret from my wife.. i dont want her going berzerk knowing that i still meets yanie behind her back. I wish my life could be more simpler sometimes, like yanie became my wife. So at least i know i dont have to think about moving. I can expand but at my own time.

Time flies, i am now 32... okay, finally i remember what i want to write about... my jungle trekking, which i went alone, before this, exercise is one but the most important thing is that i want to find solace in the serenity of the forest. My heart was ... hurt and everything esp, when yanie was around. I just want to be with my self there, ran away from the feeling that i have towards her... i just do not understand my self then. Now i know.. when i got her.. i felt my life was complete. But now, i know... to complete my life i have to work it my self. To complete my life i have to build my own dreams....

Well this to life... i will grow stronger by the day dan STOP procastinating with the work i have to do.  ¶ Wednesday, February 18, 2004