Catatan Diatas Bukit
went through the track again but this time faster, maybe because i know the path and can rush right through. I am just getting the path into my mind before i go any further or trying to go other ways. Called yanie just now, she was in ringlet, that is about half hour from my place, told her that i wish to discuss something with her parents and her. What is important right now is to inform to her parents what i expect of their daughter, and what i expect of them, hearts aside, but what is my plans, that is the most important thing and where they are in all this. All i want to inform them is this, i wish for them to be involve in this business and be an extended family for me here, i wish for them to help their daughter to understand the commitment in building a business, what is it like, to work very hard for your dream, to worry and to care for the business, because in the long run i see that both side will sin, i wish for their daughter to be branch manager here while i hire a new pharmacist and at the same time i open another branch somewhere else. she can keep an eye on this branch. to give their daughter to reach her goal have at least a diploma so that her knowledge about pharmacy can match the pharmacist, because, dispensing wise, it is still the same, understanding the drugs is a bit different. That she have to pick up on the way up. But right now i must have someone who have the same dream and the same target as me, i cannot have someone who is only hunting for tha pay at the end of the month.
Just for the record, i am glad i a way, because i have great friends who are willing to give mem support and advice through this time. I am also very lucky to have my family behind me through good and bad times, i got a great son who is well, a son, he is just adorable, a daughter who is staying with my X, i've met her once, she seem like a very good girl, i a worried for her though.
Dah setahun lama saya suka kat dia, masalahnyer, kasih saya tak pernah berkurang, bertambah lagi ada tau, teruk sunggoh. kalau nak tau, sblm saya jumpa dia, saya tak de niat langsung nak kawin ke nak ada girlfriend ke, selama setahun mula keje kat sini saya mcm tu. hati ni tak terbuka untuk ada yang lain, tup-tup dia datang, masyaAllah tunggang tebalik perasaan saya dibuatnyer, out of control, 3 bulan pertama bila dia mula keje saya jadi tak betul tau, terukkan??? tau apa yang saya nak dari dia? hanya kehadiran dia dlm hidup saya, menjadi teman hidup saya sepanjang hayat saya. itu jer. tah la, lepas bercerai, saya lebih mencari teman hidup dari teman untuk melepaskan nafsu saya. Kehendak seksual dah jatuh no ke berapa tah... just nak sesorang to share my ups and down, someone to hold and to love, someone to turn my frown into a smile, saya tahu dia boleh buat macam tu, yang lagi sorang tu baik dan boleh buat macam tu gak tapi satu jer, dia tak reti bertengkar tak reti menyatakan pendapat dan pendirian dia. Dia sentiasa ready to please, saya tak suka macam tu la, saya nak life partner bukan a house wife. so k, saya akan pk kan, dah bincang dgn mak hari tu, bertunang dulu, pas tu kalau ada masalah ditenggah jalan putus jer, sakit pun sakit la, tapi sakitnyer tak seteruk sakit masa bercerai. Dia mungkin sakit ler, tapi lebih baik dari saya ceraikan dia. Eiii kejamkan saya???
Yang Tak Menentu
Hmm have a bit fun today, just testing the water, what i mean is that, well i ask one of her friend to call yanie at home, just to check how far the family will do to protect their daughter. it goes like this, i as kai shin to call yanie, she did, at first the mother was hesistant to let yanie speak fearing i will be listening, but after kai shin said i was not around she let yanie speak. Okay then i said, that proof that she is around. that was around 11:55am, okay then at 105pm i called up asking to speak with yanie, cooly the mother said she is no around, she went down, well she did not, she ws at home, i called again in the afternoon, the answer is still the same, she is not back yet. well this a proof how far they on their daughter side, no matter how bad she is, they will lie for her, anything for her, thinking that she is rightous, well that is family
got three website, buildin them and will link them soon, one about me and my family, my previous jungle trekking and my shop and if possible all about noryani.. i like her so much, i love her, i adore her.. i dont know, one thing for sure i am crazy about her.
Taken my bath, i was stinkin like a goat this mornin, sweat is not great on me. Later during the day i called the person in charge or responsible informing Yanie's father about her activity. well my name didnot came up, but as a result i was to refrain from coming to their house. well if the old guy is sane, or rather clear minded will say, dont mind you comin but pleasee come when we are home. well i dont mind, i am in the processing of eliminating yanie from my life, i hope this time i will succeed. Do i need to inform them that i love their daughter very much.
Letter to Noryani Ahmad Basni
My love dearest Yanie
How do I love you? I love you as the waves touches the shore, never ending. I love you like soft winds that blows through green meadows fill with flowers, soft winds full of pleasant fragrance that lighten the heart and bring smile to sour faces. I love you like the sun that keep on shining endlessly, bringing warmth and comfort, chasing away the cold of winter and ushering the spring.
How do I miss you? I miss you like lone traveler in the desert misses water, you have taken so much of my heart, that your absence make me feel like there is a big a black hole in my heart where there is no beginning and ending
I feel like you are made for me, I still can remember how, when you came into my life that once was gloomy as the night bringing light into this benighted heart. Like the slow cool stream flowing slowly in this garden that is so dry. Making the flower there blooms and radiate. I wish you to be the queen of my heart as long as this heart still beating.
But my love nothing is forever, even my love for you will be forever, but my life will go on. With or without you… your time is nearly up, if you do not wish to be with me, I have to give myself to someone else, someone that will love me as I love you and someone that will miss me as I misses you…. But my love, my aching heart question, how then shall I love this person as I love you.
My beloved, I love you always, with or with out you by my side, I believe the happiness that you chase so hard is not with the person you are with now, but with me, as my happiness is with you.
what am i going to do today, clean the cat dropping, then down to the account, good sale these few days, above average, neary 2k average, if this maintained... goodays are coming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
andai dapat ku capai bintang di angkasa
akan ku jadi kan keronsang
menerangi dada mu, menyuluh jalan penuh liku
menemanimu dimalam sepi
menghiasi hidupmu
memberi ceria dalam sinaran
putih lembut
selembut kasihku untuk mu
sesuci air dikali
sesejuk embun pagi
~(anwar husain)~
I know what she have done, i hope they get caught and i do hope very much their ill doings be brought to light let everyone knows and let thruth be told, their daughter is not as innocent as they think.
Today, went to jungle walk, finally I connect the two path, I know there is an exit which goes out at the small cabbage patch worked by Yanie's father. I don’t know whether this is love or obsession, but all through the walk I kept thinking about Yanie. I was hooked to her when the first time she came to my shop, when her father suggest that she work for me, it was like a dream comes true, but a dream that turn to nightmare. She had someone else, she is in love with him for nearly seven years and she is not willing to let him go. They have done a lot together, including sharing the same bed. I know she is not that pure, but I’ll accept her as she is. It is the heart that I am after, in my mind, I will do anything for her, as long as she is with me. But since her boyfriend came back our relationship has been sour. I have to give her one week leave, fearing that we will only fight and how I will get hurt again and start crying again. I am 31 and she is 20, she is working for me. I will try to provide her with everything, I will work my hardest to give her everything that she want.
Just now her father called, he said I cannot come to their house because somebody has warn them that their daughter is bringing men to their house and she is under watchful eyes. I have done that, well at least that will limit her movement a bit.
some interesting/useful information on SAR
The fact of the mysterious pneumonia has been widely spread in HK drives me to do a literature review on the suspected cause (i.e. coronavirus) of the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). As a biomedical researcher, let me show you my concern and make the following suggestions.
The basic mechanism of viral attack is that the viruses replicate themselves using the host's (in this case is "our") DNA genetic replication system. By doing this, our body couldn't function well due to the massive viral replication. Supposingly, the immune cells in our body will fight off the infected viruses quickly. However, the viruses are so smart that they could be able to produce some chemical substances to cause our immune cells to die. Besides, this coronavirus is a new kind of virus which belongs to a mutated strain and our body cannot recognize it. No antibiotics have been proved to be 100% effective in treating viral infection so far. The only effective way to get rid of it is by ourselves. It likes a prolonged battle
between the viruses and ourimmune response. In fact, viruses couldn't kill all the immune cells in a health individual. The stronger the immune function you have, the less the viral injury you get. Therefore, the degree of sickness after infection and the rate of recovery mainly depends on how
strong our immune function is. You cannot avoid the infection unless you avoid from those infected
individuals/area. But, you can try your best to boost up your immune function by several regimes. Make sure you are "extremely healthy" at least during this critical period. Stronger immune function could keep the viral damage minimal even you were so unluckily being infected. Also, stronger immune function delays the onset of any detrimental effects from the viral infection. Scientists are now working on tracking the treatment and so make sure you are still surviving until an effective treatment occurs. The following suggestions aim to strengthen your immune function within a short period of time.
1) Antioxidant nutraceuticals: Antioxidants are chemicals found in foods which exert a great value in strengthening our immune system. Boost up your immune function by taking a cocktail of antioxidant supplements.
- Vitamin E 1000 IU per day. Alpha-tocopherol is the biological active form of vitamin E. There are two forms of it: d-tocopherol and dl-tocopherol. d-is the natural form and dl- is the synthetic form. Try to get the d- form because it is absorbed faster in our body.
- Vitamin C (ascorbic acid) 1000 milligram (mg) daily. Instead of taking supplement, you can take 2 pieces of citrus fruits (e.g. orange) a day to get the vitamin C.
- Beta-carotene, not more than 10000 IU daily - Selenium, 200 microgram daily - Zinc, not more than 500 milligram (mg) daily - Lipoic acid, 50 mg daily - Glutathione, 50 mg daily
No any adverse effects have been reported from the above suggested
supplementation dose.
2) - Let green tea to be your daily beverage because it contains tremendous
amount of antioxidant flavonoid, catechins.
- Eat more tomatoes, broccoli or fruits and vegetables in red and dark
green color. They carry a huge amount of antioxidant carotenoids, lycopene
and carotene.
3) No intense physical activities during this critical period! It has been
shown that intense exercise will suppress your immune function (related to
the upper respiratory infection) even several days following your workout.
Instead of intense exercise, light-to-moderate workout helps if you have
been training regularly.
4) Make sure you get enough carbohydrate foods (e.g. rice, food
concentrated in starch... etc) because carbohydrate is the primary food for
immune cells . Do some Gatorade or Pocari if needed since they are both
good sources of carbohydrate.
5) Make sure you get enough sleep and don't make yourself so stressful!
Anxiety, depression, and tried will influence your body's stress hormones
(e.g. catecholamine and glucocorticoids) and so suppress your immune
status.
6) Mouth-mask helps despite it is not 100% effective. But it can still decrease the chance from infection.
All the above information are supported by peer-reviewed biomedical literatures, that means they are credible and reliable! God bless and I really hope that none of you will get infected and I will pray for all of you in every moment! Good luck and take extremely care.
above is written by:
Parco M. Siu, MPhil, PhD Candidate
West Virginia University School of Medicine
aku akan cuba meluahkan perasaan ku disini, kerana aku merasakan lebih selamat disini, mungkin, kalau org lain jumpa sekalipun, mungkin itu dah takdir, aku nak memberi tau norja, tapi aku tidak sampai hati melihat dia bersedih, aku menyangi kedua2 wanita ini, ingin ku tatang mereka bagai minyak yang penuh, aku dah menyentuh yanie, aku dah mencium kepalanya hampir setiap hari, aku dah memeluk tubhnya, memegang tangannya, mengurut kakinya.. dan aku marah pada dia hari ini.
Dah dekat maghrib ni, sebenarnyer aku tengah berbelah bhagi untuk mengahwini Nojailami atau menunggu noryani putus dengan bf dia, tapi kwn aku Rina telah meletakan satu pekara dalam prespektif, kalau aku teruskan dengan yanie, itu panggilan manja dia, aku hanyalah pilihan kedua, silap2 kalau aku bersama dia, dia akan masih terbayang exbf dia, sebab dia dah sayang sangat kat bf dia, walau pun bf dia tu memaki dia memarahi dia dan entah lah, bf dia dah dapat segalanya dari dia, yanie tak suci lagi... tapi aku masih sayang dia
Cubaan catatan pertama saya telah ditelah alam ciber
